When a visitor to a town in Alabama spotted a dog attacking a boy, he grabbed the animal and throttled it with his bare hands. An impressed reporter saw the incident and told him the next day’s headline would scream “Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal.”

“I’m not from this town,” said the hero.

“Then,” the reporter said, “it will say ‘Alabama Man Saves Child by Killing Dog.’”

“Actually,” said the man, “I’m from New Hampshire.”

“In that case,” the reporter grumbled, “the headline will be ‘Yankee Kills Family Pet.’”